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     If anyone ever tells you that liquidating your lifestyle is a cake walk....don’t believe them!  As I began this process just a few months ago I looked forward to what would come and how the tides would ebb and flow.  Today what I can tell you is that they CERTAINLY DO ebb and how they flow is totally up to you!

    Since you are here on the site reading this today, you know that my departure has been delayed and that I will continue liquidating my beloved artworks for another 30 days.  The delay is more about a current project I am working on for a client (and their delays) but all and all it has added some fun to the mix.  For example, where does one live when they must evacuate their apartment being converted to condo when they “think” a new place is only needed for 30-45 days?  Or, how does one make a reservation for where one might want to go when the work is done if they don’t know when that will be?  Yep, certainly learning and getting a LOT of practice with flowing with the unknown here! 

    Last week, somewhere between trying to get a special permit from the City of Chicago to park the containers I needed to load with furniture for my daughter in Seattle and trying to find a temporary apartment, I could feel that I was just a BIT overwhelmed. I’m not sure what stopped me in that moment but I realized (I think for the first time) that what I was doing was extraordinary – in the sense that not many ever choose this route.  Thus, why wouldn’t extraordinary get a little tough?  If it were all so easy then everyone would be doing it!  As soon as I began to view things from this angle, I felt an instant relief and a kind of self pride I hadn’t felt before.  I returned to whatever I was doing at the time feeling all warm and fuzzy about what I had all ready accomplished and how much more free I was that day than 3 or 4 weeks prior.  It’s so amazing how our “perspective” rules our feeling in the moment.

     So, having sold almost all my belongings now, having finished loading the containers last night into the wee hours (permits accomplished!), having deciding yesterday to extend the Art Sale, AND having found a little place to live with a week to week lease (and right above my favorite deli!), I’m feeling pretty darn good.  OK, OK...my muscles are sore from the furniture loading...but hey....I’m 58 years old!  I’m just happy to be smiling...and ready for a nap before a new week begins and I begin to hold the inevitable unknowns and practice "my flow."  : )

Chicago’s weather seems to reflect my ever changing state today. A dash of sun provides some hope. Then the rain starts again, mirroring the many quiet waves of feelings within me. Finally, just the gray sky that symbolizes a kind of holding between conditions. My mind wanders between “all the things left to do” to “what is to come on the path ahead?” A rather odd “knowing” looms that tells me that I have little idea what will happen next.

With the completion of the Estate Sale last weekend (and the unplanned after sale this weekend), it is quiet here in this place where I live. Once my amazing sanctuary, this place is now more like a space reflecting a pending change. Many of belongings that remain unsold or ungifted bear price tags and sit in rooms where they were never meant to be. All around me is the evidence of my life past, memories of beautiful friendships and love, glimpses of the many times in my life when I was required to start over. All and all it feels as if everything is waiting to be gone – waiting to be transformed into pieces of my life held only in my heart.

This process of leaving Chicago and stepping more fully onto my true Path remains just as enchanting as it is challenging. I can feel the fear in some around me...will I be OK? In others I sense excitement and sometimes even envy. As I continue being asked over and over about my destination, I sometimes find myself struggling to remember that I don’t NEED an answer. I am sad that the expectations of our times often push us into pigeon holes. I am grateful that I have come to believe in my ability to take care of me so that I don’t need a pigeon hole anymore.

Am I feeling melancholy? Perhaps.

Am I scared? I don’t think so.

Am I blessed? Absolutely!

This little gal from Kansas has come a long way – from a girl who once upon a time believed she didn’t fit anywhere or didn’t matter – to a woman who is reaching to embrace her destiny..........and feeling very loved.

Nearly a week ago we launched this website. As has always been the case with showing "The Little Guys," every imaginable (and even more unimaginable) obstacles occured to delay the launch. To say I was intrenched in the task of preparing rather than prepared for what would come is an understatement. (Silly me, just thinking I was liquidating the collection of art!) Within minutes of announcing the site my (e)mailbox began to fill with heartfelt notes. Some expressed their feelings of sadness that "The Little Guys" would no longer be available after the Sale. Some extended congratulations. Most asked the now ever present question of, "Where are you going!" Each and every one was full of Grace. The memories of my travels and the wonder of how it felt to receive such caring affirmation for my journey came flooding back. Once again I am humbled by the gift I have been given in this lifetime - to be the instrument of this healing art. All and all, this past week has felt as if the Universe were saying, "If you think THAT journey was amazing, wait until you REALLY get on the Path!"

So, am I preparing for my next journey? Nope! I am now three days away from my own Estate Sale! The goal is to liquidate all my worldly belongings so that I might travel free from here on. Sorting, researching values, advertising, setting up, these are the tasks of my days just now. Again the obstacles have come not the least of which was my daughter, Alyssa, becoming very ill and not knowing for the past week if I might need to cancel the sale in order to travel to her in Seattle! She was to come home for the Estate Sale and gather the things she wanted for her new home. Thank goodness she is getting better now (keeping my fingers crossed!) but I have missed not sharing this "ending" in Chicago with her. Just as with the website sale, the estate sale is bringing me full circle. Whether engaged in clearing bookshelves or finding a forgotten cassette tape of Alyssa (now 26) at age four or five singing (or is that re-composing?) Jingle Bells, I am often finding myself in grateful tears. And oh yes, that "Where are you going?" is now being accompanied by offers of "You are welcome to stay anytime at my place!"

In nearly every moment of these past weeks I am seeing just how full and blessed my life has been. Without doubt, I have known times of deep struggles and experienced many losses. But with each email, each phone call, each sorting, I realize just how fortunate I am to have chosen to heal so that I can truly feel Love and experience being Loved.

One last note....speaking of Love and Gratitude! To Josh at 3:1 Studios (my Web Master!), Natalie (my young and gifted right arm), Ruth (my caring and experienced contemporary), and Shawn (my friend and ever present help), I want to say I am deeply grateful. I couldn't move into and through this transition and continue to BE in the moment without you!! You are each the BEST!

OK...BACK TO SORTING!!!! More after the Estate Sale........

Things are REALLY busy.......maybe later?